Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
