So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
