Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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