That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
