Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
