He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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