If i come over, it means nothing
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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