Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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