i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Terrible idea I love it
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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