you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
