And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
