What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
