Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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