I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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