and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
