Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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