i don't like sucking hair
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
