the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
