I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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