Whats the glycemic index on semen?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
