Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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