i just google imaged poop.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
