So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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