I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
