You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize