But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
