in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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