Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
