Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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