would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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