I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
