Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
