Pregnant stripper...not hot.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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