Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
