This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize