I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I think I just sharted jello shots
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
