had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
