Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
