i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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