Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
