U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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