i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize