Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
