Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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