My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Your cock deserves a montage
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
