my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
