she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
