Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
