come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize