Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
