I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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