oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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