you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
