you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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