Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize
