Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
