oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
