Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
