Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
