my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
