Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
